When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize