i would punch a child for taco bell
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
