Your dad touched me again.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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