I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
