I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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