Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
