i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize