I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
