I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
