I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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