somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
