I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize