He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Do vagina's smell?
It was confusing and full of hummus
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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