What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
