Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
