My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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