I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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