She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
honey bunches of taint.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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