I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
