She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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