Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
