The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize