$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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