Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
