So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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