My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
