Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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