dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
