My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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