he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
