she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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