You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
