D3 body, D1 cock
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
