Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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