Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
