saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
