Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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