too bad you live with your parents still
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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