if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
