are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We got so high we made milksteak
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize