kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
