How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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