Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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