Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
