i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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