and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize