....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
