So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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