goodnight i made you a song goodbye
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
