i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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