So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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