I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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