I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
