yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
