he shaved USA in his pubs
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
