Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He felt like a one man threesome
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
