WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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