If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
false alarm, still single
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
