mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
