Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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