"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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