Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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